Journal-#2 (Difficult Material)

Journal #2
First Person:
I remember the judgment filled middle school days even though I want to forget. I didn’t mind my time spent in the library or the stories I had written that my teachers had praised, but I did want to forget the game. Trying to fit in was never my strong point. I had given up on it a long time ago. Still, whether you want to be in it or not, the game will always find you. It happened when I and my friend were sitting on the bus. IN her lap was a list of names and she was inspecting them. Beside each name was a number, 1-10. It was a list of every girl in my grade and the number represented how each boy had ranked the girl. 1 was low and 10’s were high.

“What did I get?” I couldn’t help but asking, peeking for my name.

My friend turned the list over. “You don’t want to know.”

I laughed. I already knew my fate. “I already know,” I smiled, “I got all zeros, that’s okay! Just tell me I got all zeros.”

“It’s not that…”

“Come on,” curiosity was getting to me.

She sighed. “You weren’t on the list.”

My frown dropped. “Oh.”

Second Person:
Alex and Natalie loaded with the rest of their class onto the stuffy bus. Natalie slid into a middle seat and Alex after her. Alex’s eyes were focused on the floor, Natalie pulled out a piece of paper. Spotting it out of her peripherals Alex peeked at the paper. It was a list. She noted all the names were girls in their grade. Beside the names were numbers, the highest being ten.

“That’s the list isn’t it?” Alex asked.

Natalie flipped the paper over, her eyes stern with secret. “Yeah.”

“They ranked every girl in our class?”

“Yeah.”

Alex pushed up her maroon glasses. She already knew the boys judgment of her. The pretty popular girls would have gleaming 10 plastered all around their names, and Alex would have fat goose eggs.

“What did I get?” She asked with a smile.

Natalie shook her head. “You don’t want to know.”

Alex laughed, flashing her white teeth. She surveyed her long, to the floor hair and countless necklaces. It wasn’t hard to see she wasn’t a beauty. “I already know. I got all zeros, that’s okay! Just tell me I got all zeros.”

Natalie was still shaking her head. “It’s not that…”

Curiosity was welling in Alex’s eyes. She was not about to let this go. “Come on,”

Natalie sighed. “You weren’t on the list.”

Alex’s face filled with disappointment. “Oh.”