Da-da-of-the-blah-blah!

I'm just in a mood to smash my finger in an organized fashion across the key board (not to mention I'm killing time while a devil of a document takes it's time to load). My schedule is getting fuller to the point that it may possible burst, or I will bust, I guess it will be which happens first. I will find a way to juggle it all, there is no other option.

"Sigh"

it's hard to not get too personal on this blog. A natural pull towards superstition mixed with a reality based fear of stalkers leads me to think that typing anything too personal might be borderline dangerous.

I miss the stage

I miss typing.

I actually missed learning.

See me in two weeks when I eat those words.

Thunder

The storm is finally passing, but it was previously a tangle of fast rain and loud thunder. The sheets of bright lighting slid through the slits in my bedroom shades, lighting up my blackened room. All the while he sleeps, tired from water and work and worry. I sleep beside him, hungry for rest that week has made my body crave. I can only sleep so long in this weather, feeling like one of us must be awake to stand guard from the monster of a storm. The beast has finally calmed itself, moving far off enough so the flashes only serve a faint reminder of its fury and the thunder dulled to a distant purr. He breathes steadily. His hand lightly cupping the ball of my foot as I am on the couch and he is sprawled on the floor so that his long limbs can spread wide. A soft breathe in, a light huff out. The work of his lungs assures me that there can be peace, even in the middle of all this action. The world outside my windows is calming, he is calm, my uneasy heart is slowing. My fingers typing is the loudest of noises now. I stop so that I will not disrupt the ease of the world with my fast and clunky fingers. The world seems right again. I am less afraid now.

vent vent vent

my life has become consumed with my new job and it's dragging me down.... but I will get through it. It isn't that the job is terrible....it's is just a lot more stress than I am used to dealing with. i have to learn to control my emotions. they are starting to eat at me like many tiny, nashing teeth. I could easily swat them away but instead i choose to let them bit past the skin. i have to get a grip. i have to find a way to be okay with my situation with however long it intends on last. i am going to be okay. i am going to get through it. and i should be better than whining and pouting. this loathsome stage ends now. it has to or it risks hurting everything that is keeping me together. tomorrow is ovo. i will be happy. i am happy

amen